How do you feel when you look in the mirror? To live happy, fulfilling lives, it is necessary that we feel a sense of satisfaction with who we are. But despite how simple that might sound, being comfortable with oneself is one of life's great challenges. Often there is work to be done when we are trying to feel a little better about ourselves. An early hurdle might even be that we struggle to pinpoint what we would like to change exactly.
We are each tossed by the whims of fate, and nobody in this world leads a perfect life of absolute harmony. It’s likely that there has been a series of concurrent changes in your life which led to you becoming a different person to who you thought you would be. In our youth, we each have an image of who we will grow into, but it is rare that the reality matches up to this image exactly. It’s an insurmountable challenge not to suffer adverse changes as a result of the nature of a chaotic world. We all make mistakes along the way.
The good news? Regardless of what errors you have made, or how far away from your ideal image of yourself you have strayed, there is always hope. In fact, the most significant clues to where that hope lies can be found in the mirror itself. If you only see your flaws and failures when you look in the mirror, it’s likely that you are keeping yourself stuck in a negative place, so it’s helpful to try instead and see some of the positives. We’ll discuss that in more depth in a moment, but first, let’s consider how viewing those flaws in the mirror might be used as a catalyst for further personal growth.
Those flaws are clues to what you know, deep down, you need to change. If you feel you need to become a kinder person or a more confident person, then you at least have a clear goal to aim for. The way in which you approach that goal is fundamental, as the wrong attitude could end up leaving you frustrated. Above all, you need to develop and show yourself a high degree of patience. You need to understand that it takes time to make the relevant changes in your life that you have identified – and the same would be true of any human being in the world. When you place too much pressure on yourself, you only end up causing yourself more stress, anxiety, and worry. Allow yourself the freedom to develop at your own natural pace. Ultimately, this organic process is the only one that works.
But as well as working with care to improve yourself in these concrete ways, you will also benefit from altering the way in which you perceive yourself. If all you see if your flaws, then it’s likely that you are lacking a deep sense of self-acceptance. The trouble is that this self-acceptance does not always come easy, and indeed many people struggle for most of their lives to finally accept who they are. There is a balance to be struck here; on the one hand, you need to learn to love yourself as you are, warts and all. On the other, you should allow yourself the scope and the freedom to improve and change over time – otherwise, you might end up stuck in a rut.
So how to find that balance? Remind yourself that, no matter what, you are human – fallible, complex, and worthy. You are made of the same stuff as everyone else, and your potential is truly limitless. Try to see your flaws not as ultimate failings of your soul, but indicators of what you should do to improve yourself in the future. This will lead you to a much more loving way of viewing the totality of yourself, and in time you will find that not only is it no longer painful to look in the mirror – but that it’s actually supremely joyful.
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